Irony.

There is a movie on tv right now, about an Indian family living in Canada, the main character has the same name as DaddyBug. In the movie this guy fell in love with *gasp* a WHITE girl!! And his Mommy Dearest has a panic attack and says many mean things about those horrible white people in general.

Deja Vu?

My MIL also likes to say things about 'those people'. She's been in Canada for 26 years and still talks about us white folks as 'those people'.   As in "well you know how those people are regarding _______". Babies before marriage, divorce, premarital sex, low income.. pretty much anything you can think of has nothing to do with the families and the individual people themselves, it can all be lumped into one simple phrase... "Those people." 

One of her biggest freak-outs when we told her we were pregnant was because people in town were going to think badly of her and we were going to embarrass her. And we must get married right now!  Because it's fine for 'those people' to have babies without being married, but they're better then 'those people'.

That's a direct quote out of MIL's mouth passed on to me via DaddyBug peeps.

For the record, noone in town batted an eye.

She also likes to go off on tangents about 'The Chinese, and The Koreans" because according to her, every single person of those race's are out to rip you off. 

And I'm always the disrespectful DIL (or Daughter Out of Law really lol) and make a comment along the lines of "not everyone in ______ minority group fits a freaking stereotype!!!) and she lets it fall off like water by saying "well no, but most of them.)

So I guess I can feel a little mollified that her racism and bigotry is spread around the board to most groups that simply arn't Indian. But I still find it disgusting. 

Now I realize as a white girl living in Canada I'm treading a turbulent river by even daring to call out other people for racism, but I am consistently baffled on why it is considered OK for someone in a minority group to bash people in a different minority group. And unfortunately such bigotry has seeped into DaddyBug's subconscious, as he's been known to make snap racist judgments on people too. It's a constant source of contention for us. 

So between snarking at my Dad's family for their derogative comments (If I hear my dad say the word 'chink' one more time... *head explodes*), snarking at DaddyBug.. and occasionally snipping at MIL, I am a busy busy grasshopper some days. 

And a cranky grasshopper, because such talk pisses me off.  And it stresses me out, because I am the mother of a bi-racial child, and every time I hear MIL make rude comments about 'those people' I think of how this is going to affect my daughter, because half of her family is 'those people' , SHE is half white.  I don't want her feeling like she has to deny her white family when she's around MIL, I want my daughter to accept and be happy with the fact that she is indian.. AND she is white. But irregardless, what she is primarily is just.. Canadian. I know from my research that bi-racial children tread a fine line in their lives about knowing where to belong, are they this.. or are they that.. and is it okay to be both without betraying either? 

It does not need to be made worse by my little girl having it in her head that "MIL will only love me if I try to be as Indian as possible". Someday.. I will have to sit MIL and have a chat about that, because if she is going to be a toxic influence on my daughter's self image.. she will be cut out. 

I hope someday that we can all just be Canadian.. or American.. and drop this division amongst ourselves.  Oh how i hope. But until then I'll continue being a little grasshopper on shoulders, poking and proding, and trying to raise my daughter to the best of my ability.