Oh MIL...

Please when reading the title instead of assuming the 'M' stands for Mom, please substitute it for the first word that comes to mind that also starts with Mo but ends rather differently.

I don't want to write a post bitching about her again, but I can't help it and am going to anyway. The other day when she so rudely showed up unannounced , I sat her down and very gently explained that while we loved her to pieces, she really must start doing us the courtesy of calling ahead of time. She sulked and pouted and did the really mature well fine you want me to leave i'll leave thing, until we had gotten our message through (I thought) that we do want her in BabyBug's life, we just want the common courtesy of a damn phone call.

I posted the incident on a certain Dealing With The Inlaws forum, and they pretty much told me that I was too nice about. eh..

Which brings us to this evening. A boo-hooing MIL calls us up to pitch a pissy-fit because we're keeping her granddaughter away from her. So she bitched and moaned to poor DaddyBug and he's getting right pissed at her (I was so proud peeps) stating again and again that it's all in her head, we just want to make plans, at the very least a goddamn fucking phone call. And why yes C.G's family does always call first. Yes, every time.

We don't answer the phone she says, we don't call back she says. We've been telling her for years to leave a message if she wants a call back. She doesn't want to leave a message, she doesn't want to make plans, doesn't have time to. Well Boo-Fucking-Hoo. It is really not that hard to say "Hi C.G, this is MIL. I was thinking of stopping by later today, please call me when you're home". If you're going uptown then call us and say "I'm going up town now and was going to stop by on my way home, is that good for you?".

It isn't torture, we aren't asking much. It's a 15 second voice mail. If we're home we do answer the phone.

So in the end a very cranky DaddyBug got off the phone and informed me that MIL would like to be called tomorrow after after BabyBug's nap. However the way she worded it was; "Tell C.G to call me when BabyBug is up from her nap" and DaddyBug said "I will not tell C.G to call you, but I will ask her to."

So now the thing is... do I call her? I want to stand my ground and force the demanding spoiled MIL to get off her high horse and call me. Or do I compromise and call her and start the ball rolling? I just really feel like she is getting her way by me calling because she told DaddyBug to tell me to do so.

Le Sigh

So today despite what I wanted to do, we went to MIL's for a visit, that as always turned into dinner. It went fine all things considering. She isn't horrible always, she can be quite nice and generous when she's in the mood for it, our main problem is P/A comments and her annoying habit of ordering us around.

However, Daddybug was feeling charitable and made an insanely foolish comment. MIL whisks the kid away down the hallway, coming back with a toy out of SIL's room. MIL comments on how Babybug pointed up at the dozens of teddy's hanging from the ceiling and Daddybug says... "Oh that's where you'll have sleepovers with your Booji (Aunty) someday, that's where you'll sleep when you have sleepovers with Biji(Grandma) ... yeah someday you'll have sleepovers!"

*head bang*

Thus opening the road to future whining along the lines of "but you said she'd sleep here someday" Because she really is the type to take that inane little conversation, catalogue it away and hold it against us forever more.

And while I suppose it's eventually possible that MIL will be granted a miraculous overnight visit, I at the moment cannot fathom how I will achieve the comfort level to grant such a thing. I suppose it'll happen when I'm not worried about her bad mouthing me in my child's presence, (she was busted doing this exact thing about her SIL with her Niece staying over) and when she's of an age where a whole grape and a cashew are no longer dangerous.

MIL, Children with 6 teeth cannot eat nuts, not any nuts at all, ever, unless in spreadable paste like peanut butter. And whole grapes are a squishy choking hazard. DUH.

Bah. And the other worst moment of the evening:

MIL turns to me and says "Bring her over for an afternoon some day, leave her with me so we can see how she does. So she can get used to me, yes an afternoon some time."

*crickets chirping*

She told me to do this, there was not the slightest suggestion of it being an offer or a request. This was an order. Give me the child unsupervised because supervised visits are not good enough.

I left Babybug with her once, at DH's request. I felt horrible about it, didn't want to do it, leaving was hard. I do not have this problem with my parents so I wasn't sure if it was Mommy Instincts or just a personal bias showing through, so I did it. And MIL lasted until BabyBug needed a nap, couldn't get her to settle, and called me to save the day.

That was the first and only time she's had the kid to herself. She keeps destroying chances of a future alone visit by feeding the child inappropriate foods, and by vanishing with the kid every chance she gets. She finds an insanely large amount of reasons to flee the room with my kid in arms. So annoying.

Although obviously the Neice/SIL story stays in my mind all the time, especially since She puts all the blame on SIL sending dear Niece to SPY on her talking with her daughter. She didn't innocently overhear and go ask mommy why aunty was saying mean things.. no no.. the 7 year old was a spy. Sure. That makes perfect sense. Blame the Hannah Montana obsessing 7 year old.

I know, dear peeps, the MIL rants are old, but DH is feeling so good about a 'good' visit with his mother, that I don't want to spoil his evening by going off on him about promising sleepovers, potential death by giant whole grape and demands of babysitting. So, since I'm *trying* to give the guy a break, you guys get the brunt. Sorry.